slides away from my skull
as time and tide have their fun,
blemishes and scars like barnacles
attached to the hull, the clouts to my nose
from all those years ago grow
more pronounced in gravity’s throes.
fat and feeble, my feet have foundered;
if i were a horse at this late hour
i’d be taken behind the shed, a pat
on the withers, then shot in the head.
dark auburn hair has faded to a whiter shade
pale, boyish charms with roguish good looks
i used to betray have gone, what is there to say?
what you fell in love with has seen better days
all of those tropes washed away,
since you gave away a hopeful heart,
with that first embrace, i stole a part
of you, never to be restored.
So, off to hell with all the other good intentions
that paved the road once tread— believe me
when i say, it was true, i was never that clever
or sly, to tell a lie, when it was said, given all
the demons, desires, dysfunctions, hauntings
cursed and hurt, broken inside a void
i could never find a way to fill, didn’t know
how to love you or me, hurtful to us both
but of course, more to you. and i regret
all the years once i withdrew, the fallen tears,
i knew i was by god damned;
didn’t want you to go through this hell with me.
perhaps that’s why I left your life way back when;
i wanted your memory of me
to be as beautiful
as my reminiscences of you.
* * *